Every relationship has its problems, even the healthiest ones encounter ups and downs. While other couples have learned how to manage their problems easily and are able to maintain a balanced love life, others find it too difficult to deal with it.
Being in a relationship is a wonderful feeling and you really want to stay in it for as long as you can. You want your relationship to work and last, but there are moments when things do not run according to your plans. Things turn out to be too hard to handle and hurtful. Though each relationship is different from others, you might face relationship problems that are common. Here are some of the common relationship problems according to experts.
Denying the Real Issues
This is the first common relationship problem that needs to be addressed immediately. Sometimes you tend to ignore that there is actually something wrong going on. You pretend that everything is alright, because you hate drama. You tend to ignore it until you or your partner or both of you explode. You thought that if you ignore it, it will eventually go away but one thing you do not know is how big the damage it can cause to you and to your partner. No matter how busy you are in your work, in school or any other matter you have, there is no excuse for not talking to your partner. All other relationship problems spring from poor communication.
Communication is the heart of all relationships. If it is not functioning well, surely your relationship is in big trouble. You cannot communicate with your partner while you are checking your e-mails, reading a book, watching TV or even eating your favorite food. Good communication is having a quiet time with each other. Set aside time when both of you will not be interrupted.
Open your heart with your partner, tell them the issue and try not to blame them. You can also plan to go somewhere where both of you can relax, a park may be. Remember, communication is not all verbal; you can also communicate through body language. Do everything to meet the real problem directly and as effectively as you can and let your partner know it, so both of you will work. Deal with the issues as it happens to avoid greater conflicts in the future.
This explains itself, irrational expectations are irrational. A lot of people, both men and women have all this crazy expectations from one another. Many couples find dilemmas between work and personal life and you somehow expect that your partner will understand that you are too busy to earn a living and you do not have time for them. You also expect them to understand immediately what you are trying to say and do without even explaining it. These irrational expectations can lead to disappointments, disagreements and deep anger. The irrational expectations of people are endless, that is why it is important for couples to take a break and clearly tell to each other their expectations. If something seems irrational you can talk about it in a more civil way. In this way you also establish a good environment of emotional support.
Emotional support includes accepting differences. You need to accept the fact that your partner has his or her own way on dealing with things and you should respect it. You also need to anticipate changes from them over time, and try to deal with it and understand. Find time to evaluate how he or she communicates with you, how your partner shows his or her love. Remember, individuals behave differently, even soul mates.
Relationship Is Not “All about Me”
Relationship is the way in which people are connected or it is the state of being connected. So basically, in a relationship it is not only you, there is also someone else. Being self-centred makes the relationship imbalanced; your partner will surely feel unimportant, bitter, and deprived. Make sure both of you will grow while in a relationship. The reciprocity of giving and receiving are the perfect formula for a relationship to work. Remember that everything is about giving and taking, you definitely want your partner to be happy as you are.
As we discussed, communication is the heart of every relationship while trust is the foundation. The motto “honesty is the best policy” will surely apply in a relationship. Trust means being true to who you are, what you think, what you do and how you feel. If there are some things that lead you not to trust your partner, address it immediately to avoid the roots to grow deep in your mind and emotion. Sometimes you think your partner is lying because you actually do it to them. Even small lies or white lies are not acceptable in a relationship.
Both of you can develop trust for each other by simply trying to be more open in everything. Be consistent and do what you say you will do to avoid breaking your promises. Be always fair even in argument and be a good listener. Call your partner when you say you will, call or send them messages when you will be home late. Be always sensitive with each other’s feelings and respect each other’s boundaries. You can argue or disagree, but try not to dig up old wounds and avoid saying words you cannot take back once said.
Even partners who seem to be perfect to each other can be sexually mismatched. Experts say that sometimes lack of awareness about sex and a traumatic history about sex or anything alike worsens the situation. Sex in a relationship can bring people closer to each other; it keeps the chemistry of the couple. The effective way to address this issue is to plan. Plan to have sex, make it an appointment. When sex is on your schedule and you write it down on your calendar, it will increase your anticipation and you will be looking forward to it. Sometimes being playful can make sex more fun and exciting. If it seems that your sexual problems cannot be resolved on your own, try to seek help from an expert. Consulting a sex therapist can help you and your partner to solve the issue.
During the early months of a relationship you will definitely feel exciting and happy, and as early as possible you need to establish a solid and healthy foundation to it. To avoid future problems you need to start how to minimize it. Make your communication and trust strong enough to be your foundations. Respect and a little appreciation of small things will surely make a difference. Explore each other’s personality, interest and hobbies. Have a long list of your similarities and differences. Do things you both enjoy together and try to discover new things and places together to broaden mutual interests. Say “sorry” as often and as necessary.
Occasionally, you need to check your relationship or yourself in particular. See if both of your individual goals coincide with your relationship. Since change is the only constant thing in this world, welcoming changes and coping up with it will make your relationship grow much stronger.