Do you feel that something has changed in your relationship? If you feel that the change is for the worse then you have to act right away. If you do not, then that might lead to the total failure of your relationship. There are all kinds of tips and guides on how your relationship can be improved, but which one should you follow?
How to Improve Your Relationship
Reviving a relationship is not an easy thing to do. There are some relationships that have simply gone over the edge and could no longer be revived. If that is your situation, then no amount of expert guidance could get it going again. But if your relationship is not at that stage yet, then you should work on it. Here are some ideas that you can use in order to get your relationship going again.
Kindle Your Friendship
Do you want your relationship to be okay? Then you should work on your friendship first. You and your partner should have a remarkable friendship to start with. If you and your partner started out as friends then you have an excellent foundation from which you can build your relationship. If you did not start out that way, don’t lose hope – you can still work on that. You can still build your friendship. You can do that by spending time doing things that you both like. Find out the things that are liked and disliked by your partner.
Appreciate One Another
When you first met your partner, you must have gone the extra mile just in order to impress him/her. If you want to improve your relationship, that is what you should do. You have to continuously appreciate your partner. Try to impress your partner like you two have just met. Being consistent when it comes to showing how much you appreciate your partner will be a good step. Give out regular compliments on how your partner looks or praise some other trait of your partner that’s positive. It’s a sure thing that it will not go unnoticed.
Focus on the Present
If you want your relationship to last well into the future then you have to learn how to focus on the now. Does that sound strange? One reason why you might be having relationship problems is because you have grown apart. You might not be sharing things like the way you used to in the past. Because of that, your relationship might not be able to weather it when you hit a bump on the road. Work on the present and on the future. Make sure that you are there for your partner when he/she needs you. Even with the simple things you have to make sure that you will be there.
Do Not Focus on the Negatives
Do you have a tendency to focus on the negative aspects of your relationship? Researchers have confirmed that when couples are not so happy with their relationship, they tend to focus on the negative aspects of it. The only things that they remember are the bad things that their partners have done. That’s not surprising really. But if you want your relationship to work then you have to learn how to look beyond the negative aspect of your relationship or your partner. Try to be more positive. If your partner has done something negative try to think of it in a more neutral way. Try to think of some other reason why he or she acted that way. Instead of remembering all the bad times you have, try to think of all the good times that you have spent together.
Power sharing is not just a good idea when it comes to politics but it can be a good relationship step as well. Research has shown that when a man refuses to share power in relationship with his partner then that relation has more than 80% chance of failing. Do you think you will have a hard time with this step? If you feel that it is not going to sit well with you, then you can try practicing it. You can share the decision making when it comes to issues that you are not that concerned with.
Seek Common Goals
Do you share goals with your partner? You should sit down and talk this one over. If you two do not have the same goals then sooner or later, your relationship will really go down the drain. It’s just a matter of time. If you have a feeling that you do not share the same goals then discuss your plans with your partner and find some common ground. You need to have common goals between you for your relationship to turn out okay.
Know Your Anger
Anger like any other emotion is not a bad thing. It is not a negative thing by itself. What makes it bad is how you handle it. You should know that anger is common in any relationship, even in ones that are healthy and going strong. But when anger becomes the dominant emotion in your relationship, then you should be concerned.
Experts suggest that anger is actually a secondary emotion. That means it is just a front for something else. Sadness or fear of being left alone for example could be the real reason behind the anger displayed by your partner. You should take the time and analyse the last angry exchange that you had with your partner. Try to find out the underlying emotions for any anger that might have been displayed.
Stop the Negative Cycle
Researchers have also found a pattern in troubled relationships. They saw that relationships that are in trouble tend to follow a demand-withdraw pattern. In this pattern one partner becomes more demanding and the other one tends to withdraw and most of the time, the one that tends to withdraw would be the male partner. This has been interpreted as an attempt to avoid uncomfortable situations which can cause stress. You have to stop the bad cycle by stopping when you feel upset. Discussing things when you are not feeling emotionally stable will not help.
Pick the Things That Are Fixable
When you come to a disagreement with your partner, you should learn to focus on the things that are fixable. Most arguments are fixable. The most common causes of argument would be finances. Many couples have differing views when it comes to money matters. When they encounter financial difficulties, those differences rise to the surface and become obvious. The best way to handle those kinds of problems would be to actually sit down with your partner and create a clear cut plan on how to handle things.
Accept When There Are Unsolvable Issues
Some issues will come up no matter what. It would not matter how long you have been together; those issues will still surface every time you have an argument. If you find any issues like that then it is probably time to accept the fact that those are the unsolvable issues. Just try to get past those and don’t argue about them anymore.
These are some of the steps that you can take to improve your relationship.