You will definitely agree that one of the hardest things in life is moving on from a failed relationship. No matter how smooth the breakup is, letting go seems so hard. Sometimes, moving on can last for years, recovering from failed relationship does not have shortcuts, you need to deal with it one step at a time. But how to move on from failed relationship? Below are some ways that may help you to cope with a broken heart.
Accept That it is Over
Two of the most known hindrances to start the process of moving on are not actually wanting to move on and not knowing how and when to start. If you really want to mend your broken heart, you need to accept that it is over. Being in denial that it is over will not solve any problem. Acceptance plays a vital role in the whole process. Most of the time, you really need to sit down and cry to totally accept that everything is done. Crying helps ease the pain. Do not try to let go of your feelings right away. The healing process takes time, sometimes pushing yourself to move on also hardens the whole situation. Take your time to think, to remember and to accept. It may take too long, but in the end of the day you will be a better person.
Cut the Ties
Delete and throw everything that can make you remember your past relationship. Yes, it may be hard and you will find yourself in a dilemma while doing so, but you must delete and throw everything. It is time to change your status, delete all the pictures, throw all the gifts, “unfollow” or block you ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend in all your social sites if you think it is necessary. Or you can simply stay away from all your social media while you are in the process of moving on. Even though you are too focused to move on, you cannot stop to wonder about your “ex” if you saw his or her latest picture or status. Take all the necessary actions to do away with temptations. Do not listen to music that will remind you of the past. Do not go to places where you both spent time together, if you need to change route then do so.
Let Your Emotions Flow
If you feel like crying alone at your room, then do so. If you feel you need to have a shoulder that you can cry on, then seek it from a friend or family. It is okay to dwell and try to remember everything from your past relationship to point out what went wrong. But always remember to end it up once you know the answer. To dwell is to suffer, and sometimes it will not be helpful at all. You will end up blaming yourself or the other for the failures.
Write in a journal all your emotions. Be honest to yourself while doing it, write all the things you have in your mind. Make writings your outlet and you will be surprised on how helpful it is to you. Read back all your journal entries as if it is from another person. You may study his or her case and try to give him or her advice. Identify the pattern of your emotions, if there are words you repeatedly wrote, highlight it. If you can identify the things that put you off running into the mix of emotions, you will eventually learn how to walk around it. Always remember that there is actually no failed relationship if you learn something from it. Just because it did not work it does not mean you failed.
Reconnect with the Outside World
Start focusing on your life as a single person. Write down new plans, careers and adventures that you wanted to accomplish as a single person. Reconnect with your friends, catch up and go out with them. Also, try to have new acquaintances, the more people that surround you the more it will be easy for you to move on. Take a short vacation and find new places. This will surely give you a new perspective in life and help you to feel good to start again.
Become involved. Start joining clubs or volunteer works. Find an outlet for yourself. You can also try something new. It may be writing poems, music, painting or dancing. You can also try new sports or some outdoor activities. Do things to renew and refresh yourself. Find your passions and focus on them.
Take it Slow
Moving on from failed relationship does not mean you need to get busy socializing, doing excessive activities, or meeting and flirting with people. You need a new start, but you are not desperate to have one immediately.
Enjoy being single. Do not rush yourself to find a new love. Explore yourself and learn to love and respect yourself again. If someone asks you for a date, and you feel that you are not yet ready, be honest to yourself and to the other person, find courage to say “no” and let them know you are not ready yet. If he or she really likes you, he or she will wait until you are ready.
If you think you can handle a little flirting then do so. Enjoy meeting people. Flirting is part of the thrill of being single. Always remember to take it slow, just bear in mind that sooner everything will be all right.
When You Are Ready for Love Again
If you can affirm to yourself that you are now ready to have a new relationship, then it’s about time for you to go on dates. Ask your friends if they can set you up on a date with a common friend. Your friends definitely know who you are and what makes you interested. So they can find someone that they think will make you click.
You can also create a profile in an online dating site. Internet dating nowadays is a great medium to interact with new people. If you decide to try internet dating, make sure to fill out all the information in your profile honestly. Be clear with likes and dislikes, hobbies and passions. You definitely do not want to be mistaken for what you are not. Besides, you are also fooling yourself when you end up making lies about your profile. Expand your choices, have fun while doing so. Stay positive in life. Be in good search to start a healthy relationship with a new one. If there are some things you wish you didn’t do in your past relationship now is your time to make everything right.
Starting to love again is definitely tough. But slowly you can put yourself in that situation again. Always remember to be honest all the time to yourself and to the other person. It is okay to slow down and be involved in a low commitment relationship, but make sure that it is also clear to your new partner. Let them know the real situation. You may have fears to tell the whole story of your past relationship, but slowly try to open yourself to them. Moving on can be more easy if someone helps you with the process.